Whether it is "better to give or receive" depends on who you're trying to influence. If YOU want to feel good, connected with your partner, and committed to them, then, by all means, give to them. On the other hand, if you want THEM to feel good, connected and committed to you, then you might be better off taking from them.
This may be counter-intuitive, but it stands to reason. Someone who gives to you has invested, committed, and devoted resources to you as a recipient of their giving. They have incurred "sunk costs". Therefore, they may be more committed and attached when they give (and you take), versus when they receive from you.
If your goal is to attract and keep a partner, in some instances, it might be better to "take" than "give". Let them invest a bit, work to earn you, and become more committed to the process. Don't always be the one to pick up the check or the dinner pan, and you might find an improvement in how your partner sees you.
One final stipulation though - this is not a license to be self-centred or stingy (those will ruin a date too). Preferably, it is a reminder to keep a bit of equal exchange and let your date invest in the process as well. Ultimately, it is ok to give others the gift of feeling good (by allowing them to give to you). After all, you're worth the investment too.
Here is an excerpt from my book…
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