Self-sabotage is this evil thing we do to keep ourselves from being happy and prosperous when we don’t feel like we deserve it for some reason. Assuming a relationship is flawed when it isn’t is a great way to do it, because the more you look for trouble, the more likely you are to find some, even if you’re the one who’s causing it.
However, if you feel like something is a little off, then you might be picking up on something from your gut. Lying, in general, is a HUGE red flag. If you are repeatedly finding out that they're doing things you find unattractive, they’re hiding it because they don’t want you to discover the real them.
When having a conversation with them, look for signs if they’re diverting your questions. If you ask them specific things about their interests, and they try flirting and saying things like, “You first. I want to know what you like,” then you’ve probably got yourself a phoney. If the relationship feels too fragile that it can go wrong at any point because of what you do, it is something to worry about. Something is wrong with the very foundation.
Your partner will not meet in person, will not talk on the phone, and he/she is in the same spot every time you video call. Pay attention to the cycles of your relationship. People ignore the signs because being in a relationship sometimes outweighs compromising our desires and values. We often notice things that make us think twice about someone or a situation, but we ignore the signs.
Here is an excerpt from my book…
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