I've concluded over the years that everybody is crazy. Crazy in different measures and degrees, but crazy nonetheless.
There are open crazies, stealth crazies, and people who've made their peace with their craziness. Some people don't know they're crazy (usually the worst ones). Some people suspect they might be crazy, but are fighting like crazy to deny it.
"Normal" people who've grown up in stable environments that give them feelings of control and order will seek these environments out or create them themselves, find a place in them that they can inhabit, and stay there, thus reinforcing their worldviews of the world as an inherently stable, predictable, and controllable place.
"Crazy" people who've grown up in unstable environments that give them feelings of being out of control and out of order will seek out disorder and chaos, create it where it isn't present, and destroy order and control because they see it as an illusion that hides the "true" state of disorder and lack of control that the world is always indeed in (and, better to be able to see the chaos than conceal it until it cannot be hidden and bursts forth at random to damage you yet again)
When people talk badly about their exes to an unhealthy point, it means that they haven't worked through a lot of that relationship, that doesn't necessarily mean that they're not "over" their ex, but it does say that they have a lot of personal issues or feelings about their past relationship that they still need to grapple with. Don't believe you are much more unique then they were, maybe for the moment you are. But eventually, you will be on that list.
Better to tell her, to let it all out "Once", but that you do not believe in bad mouthing people, and that is something you wouldn't do to an ex, no matter what. We are each responsible for our relationships, and that there is no point to listen to negativity, but to live in the moment.
Here is an excerpt from my book…
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