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Wednesday, June 27, 2018

New lovers often promise each other that they will be together forever. Unfortunately, the keeping of those promises is subject to many unexpected challenges, even when they are genuinely made. Unexpected crises arise in all intimate relationship that can eradicate blissful expectations, and most new lovers caught up in the fantasy of indestructible love, don’t anticipate them adequately.

Sadly, at some point, disillusionment, defeat, and dissatisfaction may overcome any dedicated partnership, and it can deteriorate into relationship burnout, the ultimate outcome of continuing disenchantment.

One crucial factor in the way you resolve your arguments, and the way you feel afterwards, is "self-compassion." That is your capacity for being kind to yourself and taking heed of your own needs and desires.

People with low self-compassion tend to subordinate their own needs when they come to the point of conflict and arrive at "compromises" that deal entirely with the other person's needs and leave them unhappy. Higher-self compassion tends to lead to better compromise and less emotional turmoil after the fact.

Here is an excerpt from my book…



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